Have you ever apologized for your ‘bad’ English?
You know, those situations where:
- You’ve written an email to a supplier requesting information and you end the email with “Sorry for my English. I hope you can understand my email.”
- You’re on the telephone to a client and they ask you “what do you mean” and you respond by apologizing first “Sorry, my English is not very good. What I mean is…”
- You’re in a meeting and you’ve just given a brief update on a project your team is working on. One of your colleagues asks you a question that you don’t understand. You automatically assume it’s because of your ‘bad’ English skills and reply: “I’m sorry, but my English is not very good. Can you repeat that?”
Why did you apologies? Let me guess.
- You were so conscious of making mistakes in English that you thought by blaming your ‘bad’ English for those mistakes, the other person would understand better why you’re making those mistakes and have more sympathy for you.
- You so badly wanted to make a positive impression on your audience that you thought if you apologized for your ‘poor’ English, they would treat you more leniently and give you a chance.
- You thought if you apologized beforehand for your English, any lack of clarity would be blamed on your language mistakes and NOT on your message. This, you think, would be more acceptable.
Why “ritual apologies” don’t bring forgiveness.
We all have a deep need to be approved by our peers, and one way we seek their approval is by apologizing for our weaknesses in the hope that they (our weaknesses) and, in turn, we will be accepted.
The problem with, what some people call, “ritual apologies” is that they end up making us look weak, less confident and, worse still, annoy our listener. Let’s face it; no one wants to hear whiny excuses, especially in the corporate world.
Furthermore, by apologizing for your English, you’re placing the spotlight on something they may NOT have noticed in the first place.
Now you’ve highlighted your ‘bad’ English, the spotlight will stay there and NOT on your true message. Every grammar, pronunciation or word mistake will be scrutinized and picked out like a shining beacon for the world to see!
The very thing you didn’t want to happen has happened. You’re being judged not for
your professional expertise, but for your ‘bad’ English.
Here’s What I’d Like You To Do Instead
- Stop apologizing for your ‘bad’ English. Your apologies won’t bring you forgiveness but will make you look weak, less confident and annoy your listener.
- Stop blaming your ‘bad’ English for that failed deal or being turned down for that promotion.
- Stop thinking that if you learn to speak more, mistake-free and grammar-perfect English, you will make more of an impact as a presenter.
- Start focusing on learning how to communicate, not on speaking more. The sooner you start doing this, the more confident and valued you’ll become.
As Plato says: “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”