Jia Jiang was the founder of a small tech company in 2012 when he got rejected by an investor. Traumatized by this rejection, he was left with a sinking feeling in his stomach and was angry and insecure.
Jiang wanted to give up on his company, but instead, he decided he needed to build his confidence. If he was going to be successful, he needed to get comfortable with failure and rejection. He needed rejection therapy.
He decided that every day for 100 days, he would film himself asking strangers for crazy things, knowing they would reject him. On the first day, he nervously asked a random security guard to lend him $100. The answer was, of course, no and Jiang ran away. Another day, he asked a pet shop barber to cut his hair. She also said no, but this time Jiang was having fun, making people laugh and getting more and more comfortable with hearing people say no.
Things started to turn around when he asked a doughnut store clerk to give him doughnuts in the shape of the Olympic rings. To his surprise, she said yes. Another day, he asked a random store clerk to give him a hug, and she also said yes.
Jiang tells the story of once knocking on a stranger’s door and asking if he could plant a flower in his backyard. When the man said no, Jiang didn’t hang his head and run away. Instead, he politely asked why. The man said he had a dog that would just tear it up, but he should go across the street and talk to his neighbor who loved flowers. Jiang did so, and the neighbor happily accepted his gift.
Today, Jiang counsels people not to recoil from rejection. No can be a jumping-off point for negotiation that maybe leads to a yes. He also encourages people to push their boundaries in his bestselling book, Rejection Proof.
Fear can be a useful emotion when it helps us avoid danger, but social fear almost always holds us back from success. Fear of rejection can stop us from going after a job, making friends or meeting the man or woman of our dreams. The fear of rejection can also stop us from improving our English. So many people are so afraid of making mistakes or being rejected that they never open their mouths, ensuring that their English never progresses.
The next time you see an opportunity to make a connection using English, don’t hesitate; don’t overthink it; just do it. There are many worse things in life than rejection.